Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether you’re the asshole. I’m here to help with some handy examples to help you figure it out. Let me be clear – I’m not coming from any lofty heights here. I’ve been the asshole, and there’s every chance it’ll happen again. I strongly believe that sometimes crossing the line doesn’t make you a full time , irredeemable asshole – never understanding and admitting you’re in the wrong does. Having said that, here we go.
You’re The Asshole When..
You actively hate on people on social media who regularly express happiness. I don’t mean the sigh, eye roll or snide remark in the privacy of your own home. Everyone does that sometimes when the shit day they’re having seems to be the only bad one in a sea of everyone else’s golden unicorns and grinning puppies. I mean when you take the time to actually post something snide. Then, you’re the asshole.
You mistake the right to free speech with the right to be an asshole. You have every right to your opinion. And absolutely should be allowed to express it passionately, and with vigorous debate. But you don’t have the right to then get personal and start name calling or insulting the person’s intelligence simply due to their opposing viewpoint. You do that, even if they’re wrong, you’re the asshole.
You excuse antisocial behaviour by calling it a part of your personality. I have to cop to this one. Sometimes I’ve been the asshole here. I’m an introvert in an extrovert’s career path, so my inner hedgehog has been known to scratch folk when it curls into a protective ball. Understandable? Yes, probably. But worthy of an apology when the anxiety has passed. If you shrug and give it a bit of “its just the way I am” when your behaviour makes someone feel small, and never acknowledge it, you’re the asshole.
When you make jokes about rape, or breastfeeding, or homosexuality, or any other topic which may genuinely offend or hit someone right in the sore part in their heart and then blame “political correctness gone mad” for the lack of laughter. Then, and please trust me on this, you are the asshole. If you are very very good at your craft, and use surgical precision with your words and your timing, you might be able to touch those topics. But you should still be conscious that for someone in that crowd, you will be the asshole. If you’re ok to intentionally negatively affect a perfect stranger who just came to be entertained in that way, just know, to them, that you are the asshole.